It is my Dad's birthday and he has been gone for 16.5 years and I miss him so much. I wish that my boys had gotten to know him. They would have loved him just as much as I do.
My mother is 85 and lives with us and she is miserable every New Years Eve. I know my Dad wouldn't want me or my mother to be like this on New Years Eve.
I want this year to be a joyful one and for me to lose 26 kilos (57 pounds) and for next New Years Eve to be a better one. I want to go somewhere and celebrate as my Dad love partying and loved being around people he wouldn't have wanted the last 16 years of my New Years Eve's being miserable and being at home with not much going on.
Today I felt really good with myself:
- Went for a 40 minute walk
- Vacuumed our room
- Mopped the floor
- Chopped down a tree in our back yard and broke it down to fit on the trailer to take to the dump.
- Went for a swim doing some jogging in the pool
I felt so good about the exercise I did today. I was sore and my muscles were screaming lol.
Friends of ours were supposed to at our place at 5 pm and as usual they were late and got there about 6.30. We had dinner and played cards and Cards against Humanity until midnight. They were supposed to come for dinner and leave around 9.30 as he is a truck driver so we had ourselves all organised to go up to the top of the highest hill here and take photos of the fireworks etc.
But!!!!!! they decided to stay which was good as I was enjoying playing cards but was so looking forward to taking photos too.
New Years Eve done and dusted again......
I just feel really down....... I want have fun... I am only in my 40's for crying down the sink.
Happy new year!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that this time of year is always a downer for you! Focus on the good memories...and not the fact that you lost your dad!!! Yeah, easier said than done!!!
Ok...so you at the end said something to the affect why 'I'm in my 40's and I just wanna have fun'. (Hahaha I sooo want to break into song...you and I are roughly the same age..I'm 44 so you know what song I imagine!). But I read your post and while you talked about the sadness surrounding missing your father I saw fun. You had friends over (albeit late ones)...and you had fellowship and games. Fun....different kind of fun maybe. But still blessed fun!!!
Thank Mary Fran.... I just turned 46... hate saying 46 or writing it lol. Yep know the song for sure lol. You are right I still had fun but I would love for once to experience a real New Years Eve. I have never had one.
DeleteI'm so sorry about your father:(
ReplyDeleteI hope the dark cloud lifts soon so that you can go out and have fun. You're too young not to have fun! :)
Happy New Year!
Agony... I don't know why I feel so depressed. I have a fabulous husband and kids and my mum lives with us. I just think I am just feeling like life is getting away from me.
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